Did she miss him now?
by Lilamedusa
Summary: Jo didn't know. He was so far away and she was so lonely... Rambling.


Well... Little women. Don't ask, I love them. Just please, if you catch a mistake, point it out to me.

That's if anyone reads this...

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Disclaimer: All four little women are L. M. Alcott's. u.u JoLaurie! Why Alcott? Why? T.T

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Did she miss him now? Jo didn't know. He was so far away and she was so lonely, that she couldn't be sure if it was love or depression.

But the 'may be's and the 'would be's danced around her in a slow waltz, making fun of her, shoving in her face everything that had been, what was and what would be. Would, could, should, it could have ended in so many ways.

He and her, Jo March and Theodore Laurence, best friends, partners, neighbours, accomplices. But he, he had to ruin it all, didn't he? Why taint their friendship with the ghost of a rushed 'I love you'? Maybe it wasn't him, but her, who ruined it all. She had to go and do as she always did and follow her heart and her mother, be as Jo as she had always been, leave aside every sensibility and reject him in such a cruel way.

She must have said yes. She must have hugged herself to his thin waist and she should have kissed him right in the lips. Then they would be together in Europe, married, happy, making mischief, being the same as they had always been (friends, accomplices, lovers, and husbands), being the same as always and yet not quite the same. Maybe they would be now in all those places they had always dreamed of, visiting the Rue Morgue, the very same Allan Poe had once wrote about, parading through London, hovering in Paris.

Maybe he would now be contemplating the beautiful views, and enjoying what would be the never ending adventure with Teddy. Because it would be an adventure, everything but boring, everything she had ever wanted in her life. And she wanted it, wanted everything so badly, just not with Laurie.

How to explain to his life-long friend that she wanted a whole life with him, just not by his side? She wanted the fun part, running, jumping, joking, be just them. She didn't want the grief, or the boring moments, the morning breath and she didn't want to stop to be him and her to be just them. Or maybe, she didn't want the adventure just then.

She should have said that. 'No dear Teddy, not now'. Should have left the doors open, should have said, not now, but maybe tomorrow, gift him with a smile full of promises for tomorrow and run towards her house, make more angels on the snow (with him, always with him) and lock herself in her room, write one hundred and one adventures on the paper (and hidden between that new pirate captain and the old Hampshire's bank man was him, with his smile and his handsome dark hair, his little jokes and all his details) and went to sleep, always sure of a new game in the morning.

Just he and her, Jo March and Theodore Laurence. But she, she had to ruin it all, didn't she? Why taint their friendship with the ghost of a firm rejection? Or maybe it wasn't her, but him who had ruined it all. He had to go and do as he had always done, follow his heart and his mannish ego, be as Teddy as he had always been, leave aside every sense and propose in such a rushed way.

He should have waited. He should have waited, give her the time to grow fond of the idea. He should have started by taking her hand, and kissing her in the cheekbone. Then maybe they would be together in Europe, as friends, happy, making mischief, being the same as they had always been (friends, accomplices, siblings, lovers), being the same as always and yet not quite the same. Maybe they would be now in all those places they had always dreamed of, visiting 'du muse de Louvre', showing of in the antique buildings, listening to the opera, and to classic music, floundering around Viena.

Maybe they would be now walking through Italy, hand in hand and exploring little by little the place before marriage and after friendship. Starting their adventure, the most exciting adventure, having fun and being as romantic as they could be. And they would love each other so much, he for her and she for him. Maybe then she wouldn't be so alone.

Yes, she did, she missed him as you miss what you should not miss, with little guilt and not regret, with longing but without sadness. Besides, he's come back. Then everything would be as before. Him, her Teddy and her, his Jo. Best friends ever, without rings or marriage or anything in between.

Did she miss him now? Jo didn't know. He was so far away and she was so lonely and so busy. Jumbling between Beth, Marmee, and Father…

She didn't have the time even to miss him.

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Thanks for reading. ^^

Lilamedusa


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